[D5LE] Push and Pull (Expecting)

[Funegao no Hirame]

The blush made Hirame aware of their increased proximity. On reflection... he decided not to move away.

"Yeah." Hirame said, his voice rough. "I don't know. Maybe not. But maybe. Maybe Yoritomo showed everyone just what a Mantis can do, and that sets a course for others. Maybe I can..." He trailed off.

"Ahiru..." Biting his lip, Hirame looked at her. "I need to ask you. Do you think your fellows would accept me as a Crane, if I married in? Or would I always be Ahiru's Mantis husband?" Moonlight illuminated his hazel eyes, making the worry in them all too clear.

[Kakita Ahiru]

Her eyes looked directly at him, quite aware of his close proximity. And noticing the worry in his eyes. Likewise, it seemed to be something similar mirrored in her own sea-green colored eyes for a moment, and she leaned back slightly, averting her gaze at first.

"I..." she started, then trailed off with what she was going to say. "... It depends, I think? I mean, yes, if you're just going to... walk around in a sharkskin vest every day and talk about sailor-stuff, probably? Maybe?" Ahiru pressed her lips together, looking embarrassed or frustrated, it was hard to tell. "But it doesn't have to be like that! You could excel as a Crane, but still be yourself of course. You could... I don't know, maybe be the greatest seafaring Kakita there ever was? Lord Toshimoko might even embrace you, just as he embraced his Mantis-born son, so it's not like the Crane hate the Mantis."

The last part she was quite determined on at least. Besides, her family wouldn't have arranged this match if they didn't think Hirame's lineage was suitable for the Crane!

"But I think it's only fair that I turn that question around on you." Her brows furrowed with the seriousness of the topic. "Would I just be the pretty prize? The Crane bride just for show to give legitimacy to Yoritomo's court; put on parade, and then forgotten on shore to just be a wife and mother when that is convenient?"

Ahiru frowned. "Because I would hate that life."

[Funegao no Hirame]

Something flickered across Hirame's face at that first description. "The Sharkskin jacket is all I've got." He said. "Take that away, and I've just got rough sailor's clothes. Would that have earned a second glance?" Hirame blinked. Wait, was that a metaphor? He really should have tried poetry. Shaking his head, he sighed. "But... okay. Maybe. Maybe I could find a way to be a Crane, and still be myself." Worry was still there, but he set his jaw firmly; Hirame didn't lack for determination.

His lips parted as Ahiru turned the question back on him, eyes widening just a little. "No, no!" He shook his head firmly. "You've done more than..." he shook his head, grimacing. "I mean, I don't just think you're pretty. You're..." he paused again, this time to give her one of his smiles, tinged with playfulness as always. "You're really something, Ahiru." He said, warm and sincere.

Hirame took a deep breath, still smiling. Still close. "So, tell me. What life would you like?"

[Kakita Ahiru]

"As a Kakita, you would have much more than just one vest," she said, and to her the words were comforting! A Mantis probably felt differently. "Think, you could have the finest clothes with the most elaborate motifs of waves and the sea, even sharks!"

But as she tried to be reassuring for him, she didn't find his response that reassuring in return.

"I... don't know. Or rather, I don't mind something new, but to think that I might even no longer have a family name at all? That I'd just be Ahiru? Well, not Ahiru because that's not going to be my name after this is over, but you know what I mean? It would... be like a ronin! No family name or lineage to honor? To whom am I supposed to direct my prayers? To which name would I give glory and honor to?" It was just one of the things that upset her about possibly having to become a Mantis. Or rather, seize being a Great Clan samurai.

"I'm not afraid of hardships or challenges. In fact I welcome them. But I am afraid of where I would fit in in a world of sailors whose names are attached to boats."

[Funegao no Hirame]

Hirame took a deep breath, his face still. "We're not ronin." He said quietly. "Being a Mantis means something. It's... hard to explain. But you feel like you'd lose something joining the Mantis, I feel like I'd lose something leaving them." His hand, resting between them, clenched. This was hard. He didn't want it to be hard, not for either of them.

Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself again. "I don't know that I have answers for you. But I swear to you, if it comes to that, I'll help you find them. It won't just be you alone in a weird place. It'd be you and me."

He took another breath, smiling wryly. "Maybe that isn't much help. I don't know. But I mean it, regardless."

[Kakita Ahiru]

"I know you're not," she murmured in response, but it was... it was hard to sound reassuring when she was worried about that very thing herself. "But it sounds like we both feel like we're going to lose something, no matter the outcome."

Ahiru briefly snorted a bitter chuckle. "I suppose this is what awaits us as adults; hard choices and having to cope with what duty demands of us no matter what it is." Always she had known that, and she had thought she was ready for it, but at the same time... she wished she could avoid some of those responsibilities for a little bit longer.

His words gave some solace, and silently the young Kakita took a deep breath, and nodded. "Thank you. And... if you join the Kakita, I will do what is in my power to help you find your place among us in a way that will also make you happy, hm? I'm sure Lord Toshimoko would listen and be considerate, considering his own son." It was something she was hopeful about, and she sincerely believed that could be the best path for them. "We might not have chosen this or wanted this, but we don't have to be miserable, right?"

[Funegao no Hirame]

Hirame found his gaze drifting skyward. "Both losing something... maybe we're gaining something, too. It's just hard to see." He sighed. "I wish I could share with you what being a Mantis gives me. I just can't find the words. And well, you saw my attempt at self-expression today." Chuckling, he patted his waist, where the terrible doll was safely tucked away... for now...

He, too, took a deep breath. "And yeah. Either way, we'll help each other. We don't have to be miserable. In fact, we won't be. I'll promise that right now." Hirame gave a firm nod, confident.

Smiling, he looked out over the water. "And you know, we don't have to face this yet. We can enjoy the moment. And hey, speaking for myself, watching the moon on the water, with a pretty girl to keep me company..." He turned his smile back to her, "-well, that's a pretty good night in my book."

[Kakita Ahiru]

Ahiru sighed, not sure if Hirame understood her anxiousness about losing a Family name. And not even gaining a new one. Had she been betrothed to any clan samurai that at least had a Family name they carried with honor and pride, she thought it would be different.

"Hey, there's always a place for competent individuals among the Great Clans. I mean, you could perhaps lead the way for a stronger Crane navy. You are an exceptional person, Hirame-san, and I think you could find greatness wherever you went." She just wasn't sure if she could do the same.

At least she could agree that they didn't have to worry about it quite yet, and with a nod she settled in more comfortably to look at the water. In her mind, she was thinking of maybe a future painting, or the beginning stanzas of a poem about the moon's reflection in the water... so she didn't notice at first where she was placing her hand on the bench, and ended up placing it on top of Hirame's. It would take a second or two for her to realise, but who knew what a pirate would do with that time before she could withdraw?

[Funegao no Hirame]

Hirame smiled. "Thanks, Ahiru-san. That actually means a lot to me."

Hirame was not always the quickest thinker, but he made up for it in boldness. And so when Ahiru's hand came to rest on top of his, Hirame didn't think. He acted. His hand turned, catching hers, holding it gently. His fingers were a little rough; handling rope on a regular basis tended to give one callouses. But his hand was warm, and his touch both gentle and confident. He gave her hand a little squeeze, thumb brushing daringly against her wrist.

A quick glance and a playful smile at Ahiru, and Hirame looked out over the water. "Perhaps I should try storytelling. Suzume Rin swears by it as an artform. And I was just thinking of the story of Goteimaru no Miharu, the pirate princess. Would you like to hear it?" His voice was low, his hand still warm as it held hers.

[Kakita Ahiru]

There was a quiet gasp from Ahiru as Hirame took a hold of her hand instead of pulling away. The nerve! Wait, but she had been the first one to blunder, so it wasn't his fault as such, but that's not what the gentle heroes in pillowbooks did - this was... this was the act of a scoundrel!

But then she wasn't terrible opposed to it, but she couldn't just say that because the heroine should never give in easily, especially to scoundrels even when they wanted to.

Blushing furiously, Ahiru didn't move her hand away. "... Yes," her words came out a bit more meekly than she had intended. She paused a moment, clearing her throat, "I would like to hear it."

[Funegao no Hirame]

Indeed, the smile on Hirame's lips definitely had a bit of a scoundrel spice in it. And while he held her hand gently, he did it with a commanding sort of confidence. A confidence that might, in other circumstances, cause a heroine to swoon against his randomly bared chest. "As you wish." He murmured, a touch playfully, a touch knowingly.

He took a deep breath, hazel eyes going distant. "Well, Goteimaru no Miharu doesn't get the title of pirate princess for nothing. She was born as Hantei Miharu. With several older siblings, she wasn't going to succeed the throne. Still, she was raised in the height of Imperial privilege, with everything she could possibly want."

His thumb briefly stroked the back of Ahiru's hand as he went on. "What she wanted, as it turned out, was two things. To be the best, was the first. She was beautiful, smart, and brave. And so she applied herself to all sorts of learning. But especially swordplay. She was trouncing the rest of the household by the time she was sixteen. And the other thing she wanted... was freedom."

He took a breath. "And so, after her gempukku, she left. For a while, she wandered. Until she could wander no more, and came to the sea. It was in a port town that she found the ship Goteimaru, and sought passage to the Isles. Who knows, maybe she would have gone on from there? But fate had other ideas."

Hirame shrugged. "The captain, Goteimaru no Hanzo, recognized her. News of her disappearance had been circulating, see. And Hanzo didn't want that sort of trouble, so he planned to take her back. But she had other ideas."

He grinned. "She challenged him to a duel. As I was told it, the duel lasted for three days and three nights. That doesn't seem too likely to me. But when it was done, Hanzo was defeated. And the Goteimaru had a new captain. Or... co-captain. And thus began the career of Goteimaru no Miharu." He cleared his throat. "It was the life she chose for herself. She got what she wanted, after all." No lesson intended, his smile said; this was just a story, not a plea to join the Mantis.

Innocent look on his face, he counted off on his free hand. "And that's the story of my great-great-great-great grandmother." He flashed Ahiru a smile, giving her hand a little squeeze.

[Kakita Ahiru]

Ahiru listened attentively to Hirame's story, though she didn't fall against his chest like a heroine might've done in a pillowbook. Instead she sat straight, attention focused on him, but still letting him hold her hand. At least this way, she wasn't blushing quite as much eventually - just a touch of rosiness on her cheeks.

"That is quite the tale..." she remarked, as he concluded it. Though a part of her wondered how it was probably told differently by the Imperials and other great clans, that this Mantis captain probably seduced an honorable princess to a life aboard a ship. Stories had different sides to them.

"... Thank you. For sharing it with me. It sounds like you have quite unique lineage in your clan, tracing it back to an Imperial princess, to the Son of Heaven himself."

[Funegao no Hirame]

"Yeah." Hirame said, still smiling, his voice still soft. "You know, I've never known quite how to feel about that. A lot of Mantis don't care about that. Some do; Goteimaru no Miharu was pretty famous after all. So I wasn't sure if I should or not."

He gave a little shrug, his hand moving against hers as he did. "But I guess it's a part of me. And if you can't accept help from an ancestor, who can you accept help from, right?" He chuckled softly, then looked at Ahiru. "I've also been wondering lately what it would mean to the Great Clans. Maybe more than the Mantis?"

[Kakita Ahiru]

Her eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. "Of course lineage is important. The Lion pretty much can't breathe without checking with their ancestors first, but for every samurai one's ancestry is very important. Every time you approach the family shrine, you see the names of those who came before you, and you are reminded of their duty and glory to the clan and the family."

Ahiru straightened her shoulders a bit more, that inner fire showing itself in her posture and her eyes. "I'm not just any Kakita. My family can trace our lineage back to Lord Kakita and Lady Doji-no-Kami themselves. It is an honor to come from such distinguished lines, but it's also a great responsibility," it sounded much like what she had been told growing up. "To live up to their expectations, and to continue the line with honor and dignity."

"So..." she sighed, and turning her hand slightly she could now properly hold his in return, "... it might be different for you, but for me it is important. It's how I've been raised, it's how the Clans are, even the Minor ones."

[Funegao no Hirame]

Hirame smirked. "I already know you're not just any Kakita. But my parents told me your family was a good one. I just didn't know the details."

He watched, listening as Ahiru spoke, feeling that fire. As she finished, he nodded, briefly closing his eyes. "I understand. Really, I do. I know expectations are different for you, and what matters is different for you." He took another breath. Fortunes, could he make this work? He had to. Hirame's jaw set. Ahiru would feel the tension as he held her hand.

As she finally returned his touch, he took a deep breath, some of that tension fading. "But maybe I could understand better." He said, smiling gently. "Is there a tale of one of your ancestors that you could share with me? I'd like that very much." His thumb brushed her palm delicately.

[Kakita Ahiru]

He seemed to understand, and that mattered a lot. Sure they could join the ranks of countless samurai with a cold and unhappy marriage, but... no, Ahiru didn't want to give up like that, and she refused to resign herself to a miserable future.

"Hmmm... I could tell you the story who my grandmother named herself after. She's someone that matters a great deal to me, though she is still alive so not yet an honored ancestor, and I swear if I called her that within earshot of her... well," she giggled a little, "she'd probably have me assigned to the court of the Badger Clan for a year or two to learn my lesson."

"My grandmother's name is Kakita Kaede, who in her youth was known as the Fire-Red Maple for her temperament and drive. She chose the name after our ancestor Kakita Kaedehime, the Maple Princess, and in many ways was inspired by her throughout her life. She probably told me these stories in hopes that I would be equally inspired and motivated."

Ahiru smiled absently for a moment, thinking of her dear grandmother that had been such a guiding presence in her life.

"Kaedehime was the third daughter of the Kakita daimyo. She wasn't the prettiest or the strongest, but she was clever and quick of wit. Her father lamented that his daughter was plain of face, feeling that it would be difficult to arrange a prestigious marriage for her, for who would want a plain-looking Crane bride? Still, he'd send her to the great halls and winter courts, in hopes that she'd make a match for herself."

"Kaedehime did find herself pursued by many suitors, though none of them were terribly impressive, as they were uninteresting men hoping to get ahead in status by marrying someone of important birth, caring little about who she actually was. She on the other hand, had set her sights on the very handsome Hantei Reihito, one of the younger princes - who similarly to Hantei Miharu - was not likely to inherit the throne any time soon. Of course, he was very much pursued by almost every eligible bachelorette of the courts. But Kaedehime was smart and knew that she wouldn't win by trying to be a flower of the courts, so she set her own plan into motion."

"As the prince went out hunting with a few of his friends and their retinue, Kaedehime disguised herself as a richly-dressed hunter to meet with them outdoors - away from all the ladies of court. The prince and his followers did not recognize her, but allowed her to join their hunt; where she bested them by felling a deer that the prince had missed. Instead of accepting the trophy of the noble animal, Kaedehime declined it and said that she'd only take her prize when he would recognize her. Intrigued, the prince tried a few guesses, though was wrong, and she departed from the hunt. They did try to follow her, but she had cleverly worn clothes of white and grey, which allowed her to move unseen in the winter-covered landscape, and she used branches to brush away her tracks."

"Later that winter, the hosts arranged a costumed feast, where everyone had to dress up in some way, as animals or figures in stories... and they would have dances to honor the Fortunes during the feast. The prince at this point was still trying to figure out who the mysterious hunter had been and was not interested in the costume-party, but as he tried to leave he was faced by someone who seemed very familiar in the entryway. Kaedehime had arrived, and this time she was dressed to resemble a maple-tree, with leaves cut from silk to drape over her, and a silken-veil embroidered with maples covered her face. She asked the prince where he was going, and he felt certain he recognized the voice, so he asked her to dance beside him. She accepted."

"As they danced to the tune of drums and flutes, he asked her who she was. Playing coy, she asked the prince why he wanted to know to which he replied that he had finally met someone who had made him intrigued. Kaedehime said that she would tell him, if he could answer her riddle; Admired for its colors, but not a flower? A princess with a bow and arrow, but not a hunter? Dress made of leaves, but not a tree?. Prince Reihito was stumped, and couldn't make any guesses as they danced, and as he had no answers for her, Kaedehime bowed and left as the dance concluded, withdrawing from the party."

"After the feast, the riddle posed to the prince became known to all the court, and many women were claiming to be the mysterious lady he had become so intrigued by. But the prince was not foolish and saw through their deception - however these attempts at deception made him suddenly more aware and he took more notice of who was trying to decieve him and who was not, as well as who was very little talked about of the winter court's guests. So in court some days later, the prince took the floor and said to his father the Emperor that he was ashamed that as his son, he had been played a fool. But having now realised he had been a fool, he said he now knew that he needed to remedy this, and it would start by acknowledging the one who had made him see this truth; and he bade Kakita Kaedehime to step forward."

"Admired for its colors, but not a flower? A princess with a bow and arrow, but not a hunter? Dress made of leaves, but not a tree? Prince Reihito repeated the riddle, and smiled; people have admired the colors you wear as a Crane, but you're not a flower of the courts and have never pretended to be. A princess by your name, and by the Kami such an excellent shot, but you were not a hunter no as you never prowled these courts looking to shoot a prize. A dress made of leaves but not a tree - how could you be a tree when you are the most amazing person I have met, Maple-tree Princess. The prince bowed to her, and asked her, in front of his Emperor and all the important members of court; will you allow me to try to gain your hand in marriage, by proving I am not a complete fool? Kaedehime accepted, and he would spend the rest of the winter courting her to prove himself better than just the carefree prince he had been before."

Ahiru smiled a bit triumphantly. "When spring came, they were betrothed, and later the two were married, as Hantei Reihito married Kakita Kaedehime and joined the Crane, becoming Kakita Reihito and my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather."

[Funegao no Hirame]

Hirame approached so many things with a hot intensity. Listening to Ahiru's story was no different. His hazel eyes were alight, microexpressions flickering across his handsome features as she told the tale. "Wow." He said as she concluded, shaking his head. "That's really something. Thank you for sharing that with me."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "That's really impressive! Winning a prince through her deeds. Of course, I suppose he won her through his deeds, too. Winning each other? That really is a good story." His lips moved for a moment, and then pressed together, but his eyes still glinted, his jaw still set determinedly. His hand still held hers. Yes, he thought, although he didn't say anything.

A moment passed, and he looked at her, his expression serious. "Something I should like you to know. Yes, I worry that the Crane might not accept me. But my only worry is that it's not possible. If I join the Kakita, and I can by some deed win their acceptance, it's done. Because I will do it." He said.

[Kakita Ahiru]

That he liked the story made her smile a bit wider. It was a tale she had listened to many times as a child, and it was one she liked a lot. Her grandmother she suspected would've been a lot more forceful with a prince like that - but she was the Fire-Red Maple for a reason.

She watched him as he set his jaw firmly, feeling the warmth of his hand in hers.

"I don't think it's impossible. And I am certain you could do it, with great success," Ahiru said encouragingly, as she didn't believe there would be any reason for her clan to treat Hirame poorly when he was doing well in the Topaz tournament. "So I would say you have nothing to worry about there."

Something came to mind with that and her face lit up. "Oh, and be prepared for a gift soon! I've been wanting to find you something nice to wear, so you have more options - but I want to add some last finishing touches to it."

[Funegao no Hirame]

At Ahiru's assurances, Hirame just nodded. It was nice, that she believed in him, bringing a warm feeling to his chest. It strengthened his resolve in his new plan all the more...

"Oh really?" Hirame said, eyebrows going up. He shifted on the dock, bringing his legs up, turning to face her more directly, still keeping her hand in his. For just an instant he frowned, but then he shook his head, smiling again. "Well, now you have me all curious. Something nice to wear is interesting enough, but your personal touch is something that has me especially interested." He smirked, looking at her. "Quite a mystery you've presented me with, not long before I visit Yume-do."

[Kakita Ahiru]

"It's not a proper gift until it has some personal touches. After all, anyone can go to the market and pick up whatever they like." Some poorer clans probably would've gasped at such a remark. Or maybe this poor Crane was just playing it up.

"I know you like your vest a lot, and that it means much to you, and I'm not saying you should never wear it again, but... I just would like you to have other options to choose from so you don't wear it all the time." After all, no one wore the same outfit all the time, right?