[D3, EM] The Better Half (Expecting)

[Shiba Haru]

Haru bowed.

"There is wisdom in your words , I will make time to reflect on this. Is there a mantra you feel I should focus on? I do not want to lose my connection with my brother but I understand I need to move beyond this and many other negative emotions."

[Isawa Natsuko]

Reflexively she returns the bow before considering the question, hands stirring to rest, palm down on her knees. "Basic meditation asks you to look at those emotions and feelings without attachment, just observation. That alone is valuable."

"But a mantra?" She is silent again for a long moment. "Perhaps the one we are taught to find our way when the void becomes overwhelming."

Find truth within the illusion
Focus within chaos
Peace

[Shiba Haru]

"I will remember that, thank you.

For what it's worth, I think you and Jiro will be fine together. He is nervous, he worries you won't like him. He has always been eager to please people and genuinely cares about others. The amount of love and compassion in him is so great that it's a wonder that there was any left for me.

The biggest thing you can give him in return is communication. If you dislike something, tell him and if it is within his power you will never encounter it again. If you like something he will surround you with it. That may make him sound like a sycophant but he isn't, just someone who desires harmony.

And should you grow angry with him or fall in love with him tell him that too; I am certainly hoping for that latter there."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"I have no reason not to like him, I think. But love is..." there is a word-seeking pause, before she continues, sounding as if she's finding her way step by step through the sentences. "I understand the void better, can readily commune with the void and find answers within it. I am trained to know it. I have no training for love."

After a pause she adds, "a wonder any was left over? Are twins commonly two people with only one person's measure of everything split between them?"

[Shiba Haru]

"Um forgive me if I speak foolishly Natsuko-san, I take my study of the Tao and theology seriously but I am by no means an expert. I do not fully understand how the soul works but I know and feel that Jiro and I share one. At some point in history we were one, so in my mind that means now we are two parts of a whole. I had this conversation with Jiro yesterday and perhaps you may have some insight on it. I argued that things like instinct are a reflection of things we have learned in prior lives. We do not carry memories of our past selves but if the goal is to learn and reach a state of enlightenment would we not need some way of carrying what we learn forward?"

[Isawa Natsuko]

She shakes her head. "It does not work that way. Enlightenment is not a matter of learning one lesson after another to achieve it. Each life is another chance, some lives offer more space to strive for enlightenment than others, but they're not really cumulative in any direction."

She lifts her hands, in a see-saw balance sort of motion. "Instincts come in two sorts, animal and spiritual. The animal instincts help you survive, remind you that you are thirsty, help you fight for your life. They are not usually conducive to enlightenment and often stain the soul with impurity." Her maimed hand trails gently to the side, "spiritual instinct comes from our attunement to the unseen in the world, the elemental kami and void. These instincts can lead us to practical things, like imbalances that need attention. When we try to understand ourselves and the world though, they are threads to deeper understanding if we can truly see how they work and fit together"

Her voice is quiet, but steady, on comfortable ground with the amount of training she's had on Theological topics.

"As to your souls... I'd just note that none of the qualities of souls are measurable in a physical way. If two bodies tried to share one body's worth of breath or food, they will suffer from lack. But there isn't a set quantity of compassion or intellect."

[Shiba Haru]

"What causes a soul to split then I wonder. I always assumed that the cycle decided that we needed more experience so it gave us two lives at once. Hmmm."

It was clear by the look on his face that he had considered this deeply but had never asked anyone before.

[Isawa Natsuko]

"Emma-O felt you needed practice seeing yourself clearly," Natsuko says, her hands returning to their clasp within her sleeves, voice calm and certain.

[Shiba Haru]

"So I was wrong but not far off." He nodded with understanding. "What we are supposed to see is unclear but we are still at the beginning of our journey."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"The end is in the beginning, but I couldn't say how long you've been finding your path." she says simply. "It isn't as if I'm qualified to judge that. I only know what's been taught and don't know where I am on my path either."

"Is enlightenment a thing you discuss often?" That seemed unusual for folks their age.

[Shiba Haru]

"No, not really, just something I have considered privately. One read a story of a Crane who abandoned his post and duty to climb the mountains of the Dragon. He was gone for so long that everyone considered him dead but one day after many years he found himself at the gates of the Togashi castle.

When asked why he had come his answer was simply just "Too see if I could." and he turned around and climbed back down. As far as I can remember the story he was never seen again but was considered enlightened by the Togashi. I have no idea if it is a true story but reading it got me thinking about the subject of enlightenment."

[Isawa Natsuko]

Natsuko considers the tale for a few moments, her hands fidgeting almost as if turning it to examine. "I am not sure it is a particularly useful tale of enlightenment, though it may highlight the difficulty of finding it through the performance of the duties most samurai are bound to."

[Shiba Haru]

"Maybe, that's the best explanation of it's point I've heard."

Haru shrugged.

"Not that it's something I am seeking actively, I don't think it's the sort of thing you find if you look for it it just finds you when you're ready. So uh.."

Haru looked to change the subject, feeling that discussing Enlightenment with an Ishiken would only make him look foolish.

"...do you practice any of the arts? Jiro and I both play the koto and he does as lots of other things as you would expect but what about you?"

[Isawa Natsuko]

She shakes her head. "Not really. My arts are all studies. I have the tools to do poor calligraphy, and potent medicines. I practice observing, while most art seems focused on recording."

"I did not know you were both musical. Why koto?"

[Shiba Haru]

"Well I cannot answer for Jiro but for it's the unique sound, it feels more...modern I suppose; less stuffy. We had to share an instrument when we started learning so when Jiro suggested the koto I was thrilled. Unlike some of the other stringed instruments it can produce some very upbeat and cheerful sounds."

[Isawa Natsuko]

She nods. "The vibrations of the koto are pleasant. I find I prefer shakuhachi to listen to, honestly. The way air through empty space becomes music is touching, somehow."

"Do your parents play instruments as well?" Which brings up another thought. "For that matter...what do your parents do?"

[Shiba Haru]

She nods. "The vibrations of the koto are pleasant. I find I prefer shakuhachi to listen to, honestly. The way air through empty space becomes music is touching, somehow."

"Do your parents play instruments as well?" Which brings up another thought. "For that matter...what do your parents do?"

Haru looked shocked.

"Ha-Has Jiro not told you about our family at all?"

Has he even talked to her? What the hell is going on?

[Isawa Natsuko]

"A bit. He spoke of you and your parents, a great grandparent with a gift for the void." She pauses a moment. "No doubt the reason the Isawa chose your family to drop me in." Her head tilts a bit, questioningly.

"We did not speak of music, though."

[Shiba Haru]

"Well I'm sure it's hard for him to keep track of all the arts he practices, music is the only one for me currently though I have asked him to teach me how to paint. I keep meaning to get him to carve me a flute but I don't want to annoy people with my practicing it, the one problem with a koto is that it isn't something you can carry around with you easily."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"It is not," she agrees.

She pauses, thinking a moment before returning to the unanswered question. "Do your parents play instruments too? Or just encourage you both to play?"