(D9, EM, Jiro's room) Stretching Wings

[Isawa Natsuko]

He can feel her head move side to side against his. "No. I had hoped to talk to Nekoma Seto-san more but..." Her hand remains against his heart, the other crossing over as a shiver runs through her. "I do not know how to search for more without drawing attention. I think..." Both arms tighten slightly as almost whispers behind his ear. "He gave me a word too. A name? Suzu. His? Mine?"

He can feel the rise and fall of her chest as she takes a deep breath. "I plan to take it for my own at the ceremony, let him know I listened. If...anyone is watching at least." She slumps a bit, chin coming to rest on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his and her weight still shifted a bit forward against his back. "But I do not know what their notice might mean, in the end."

[Shiba Jiro]

The feeling of her so close, connected so intimately, accentuates two things in him. First, his pain at having hurt her and her trust in him. Second, his feelings of connection to her. It is a mess in his mind that he'll be sorting out for a long time. But for now, he is happy and grateful that his mistakes have not driven her off... that she is willing to continue on with him. And has trusted him enough to share this secret.

"Then it will be Suzu and Benjiro?" he asks. "I like that."

Her tightening grip is reinforced, his hands squeezing her embrace to himself, an encouragement for her to hold as tightly as she wishes. Jiro's right hand reaches up to the side of her face hugging her head to his while burying his fingers in her hair.

"Their notice means they are watching and they care. And I will do what I can to help facilitate reconnecting. You may not know them, we may end up learning about them together, but you have a family that will be as much mine as mine will be to you. As you said I am your future, but you are mine as well. And your hopes and goals are mine as well."

[Isawa Natsuko]

She settles in to the...embrace? Snuggle? Whatever it has become with a long, loud exhalation. "I do not know that their attention will be entirely benign. But I want to find out." Remaining there, her breathing slows, hold relaxing along with it, over time, until she shivers with the chill that slowly seeps in with the long moments of inactivity.

"Why Benjiro?" She asks as she slowly begins untangling from the moment.

[Shiba Jiro]

The weight and warmth of her are welcome, pleasant and make him smile. For a little while he allows himself to just be happy with the connection.

"If it is something you want to know about, I will follow the lead by your side. Even if they seek something less than benign. Because you and I are partners, no matter our circumstances, and I will do all I can to see your hopes come to fruition."

His hand returns to the one over his heart. "No matter how we feel about each other in time, you are here." Jiro pats her hand, to indicate his heart. "Because I am placing you there, with every intention of keeping you there. Right next to where our daughter will be. Right next to all of our family, always together."

He intertwined fingers there, but there was no shivering for him. He did have both her and a blanket draped over him currently after all.

"Use my blanket," he suggests, in response to the shiver. Doing so would provide a bit more insulation and put their warmth a little closer together.

"Tradition and personal preference. The line of second sons back to Shiba Reijiro all have similar names in structure, even if not meaning. We have all been Jiro, and chosen something to add to it at gempukku. My father was Jiro until he was Renjiro, grandfather was Tokujiro, and so on. As one of the few that is not a bushi because I dislike violence, I am going with Benjiro," he explains, in response to the name question.

[Isawa Natsuko]

"Does your brother have similar traditions to follow when choosing a name?" she asks, while pulling a corner of the blanket up across her shoulder.

"Oh...wait.." she leans to the side and sort of lunges for her satchel, sprawling out along the tatami. The blanket partially comes with her, then scrunches untidily between them as she drags her bag over and sits back up. Oblivious to the blanket, she rummages through the bag's contents. "As first son will he likely take on your parents' work there?"

[Shiba Jiro]

He smirks at the sudden mess of movement and blanket that she creates, not answering about his brother for the moment. Instead, he moves to a single knee as she rises after collecting her satchel, adjusts the blanket so it rests draped over her shoulders, kisses her forehead for a moment, looks her in the eyes with a smile, then returns to his spot. He guides her arms to their previous position around him before pulling the blanket around both of them. Wrapped together and insulating shared body heat in a little bubble with her.

His voice is low and gentle when he speaks. "What is mine is yours. A blanket, my body heat, and my time. Everything that I can give you, it's all yours. Don't hesitate to ask or even just take. I willingly and gladly share it all with you."

Within the new wrap, his hands move to retake hers.

"As for Haru, his name and duty are more in line with traditional expectations. And I doubt that he'll be doing what my parents do after having become a topaz competitor. Our family isn't the only one that provides security for the village so there's nothing that requires one of us to do so in their place."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"Wait, wait!" Natsuko pulls a bit out of it all, to reach for her bag again, remaining within the shelter of the blanket though more beside than behind. "I had a thing.."

She is listening though, as she searches through the rattling contents of her satchel. "But have they not been doing it all these generations? People do not like things changing."

The little tin is found and drawn out to rest, cradled in her lap as she looks up at him. "I do not like to just...take. I was. ...I mean, I guess they asked but it is not the sort of request a minor clan would get to refuse." Turning the little enameled tin in her hands, she asks, "would you teach me to paint a bit? I want another way to record what I find in the void, and maybe...cards to help focus divinations."

[Shiba Jiro]

"Families come and go from the village. It is not so big a deal. They regularly assign priests to the tower, and they bring their yojimbos and both sets of families. The governor may not be pleased with the change, but the clan will decide what to do with topaz candidates," he says with a shrug as she goes to fetch her tin.

"I would be happy to paint with you. Last time we did so, it was pretty significant. I am curious to see if it was a singular blessing of Kisshoten-no-kami or if there is something about us together that causes such incidents. And all the better if it helps you as well."

He smiles warmly as he agrees.

[Isawa Natsuko]

"I expect they will attach you to court delegations given your skills, yes?" That would mean travel, probably. Leaning her shoulder against his, she tugs the blanket a bit tighter, staying warm. "Your status being sent to this competition means you might have the ability to ask for a preferred posting, yes?"

"I think the paintings were more conditioned on the void's ability to touch all times, allowing us to see Kisshoten's blessing to come." She rests her injured hand along his arm, a slight weight. "I have had no good examples of how to be a mother. I hope... Well...I won't mind if your heart has trouble holding a connection between us if you have to, hmm..." she pauses a moment, thinking, "make up for the things I lack. I do not want them to suffer for it."

[Shiba Jiro]

Jiro listens again.and takes her injured hand when she rests it against him. He turns himself and her to face him, pulling her into a hug. His voice is soft in her ear.

"You lack nothing, my soon-to-be wife, my beautiful stone, future mother of my children. Don't ever think that you do. I made the choices I did because I was being an impulsive asshole. It had nothing to do with you. I will have no trouble holding a connection with you. How could I? You are intelligent, interesting, beautiful and kind." He holds her tighter.

"My stupidity does not accurately represents just how fortunate I feel for having been matched with you. I want to be with you."

[Isawa Natsuko]

There's a small noise of surprise as he pulls her close, and a moment of frozen shock before she calms, reassured to note that she did not instinctively reach to the void as a defense. "I..." She pauses for a slow breath.

"I have to get used to this ...hyperbole, I think. But..." she sighs, letting her forehead rest against his shoulder. "It is not about that. I appreciate the kind assessments and the things you are feeling. But I do lack certain experience. Maybe that will not matter, and maybe it will. I do not wish our children to be affected by it."

"For the rest? Jiro-san, set it down. You need not convince me you can care for me. Trust repairs with time." She sort of weakly waves toward the tin in her lap."I..made you tea?"

[Shiba Jiro]

He runs a hand gently through her hair while her head rests on his shoulder. The other hand scratches her back softly.

"I am not trying to prove that I can care and there was no hyperbole, Natsuko-san. I meant it exactly as I said it and will say it again, so many times."

His chest and shoulders rise with a deep inhale, then fall slowly with a slow exhale.

"You might not have experienced certain relationships or have certain examples. But you want, just as much as I do, to meet our daughter and for her to grow up happy and healthy. Those are instincts and feelings of a mother, so you will be a good one."

He places a hand on the tin. "Tea with you sounds lovely, as it always does."

[Isawa Natsuko]

She relaxes slowly. Feeling a bit of the confusion of a feral cat when someone scritches in just the right spot and all their instincts are at war with the pleasant feeling of scritches. "Artistic liberties then. You make predictions with far too much certainty for someone with no actual sight on the future." There's a pause and a small huff of almost-amusement. "Though I guess it's that sight that actually makes most ishiken very wary of any solid predictions."

"Similarly, I know full well that instinct is no predictor of success without skill and knowledge to hone it." Sitting back a bit, she pushes the tea his way a bit. "I am not comforted by...by assurances that everything will go well, will be fine. I am comforted by taking the possibilities into account and planning for them. I want to know my children and be a good mother. Wanting does not make things real though." She rests her hand on his atop the tea canister. "There's a path for us that allows them to be. There is work to get there, and I understand some of that, but not all of it."

She looks down at the tea. "I wanted to make you something. And it will be very nice to share it with you sometime."

[Shiba Jiro]

He nods in understanding at her explanation of how she feels about assurances.

"You're right, I can't see the future. I don't have that ability and can't guarantee anything. However, I can have faith. I can believe in the intent, drive and goals that both of us hold. I say things with certainty and because of that I expect things to go well. You say wanting something does not make it real, and I say to make something real you have to want it."

He smiles at her, then looks to her yang then his yin.

"You are comforted by being prepared for anything bad that may come to pass. I feel that time spent planning for the bad is time not spent working towards your goal. You are realism and I am optimism, and together those two ideas will allow us to accomplish great things."

He takes up the tin, opens it a bit to get the smell of the contents, then seals it once more. "It is wonderful Natsuko-san. We will enjoy it together."

[Isawa Natsuko]

She takes some time to consider this, the way approaches mesh and tangle, then nods. "There are strengths there, but also frustration as we keep running into that difference in our thinking."

With a long breath, she looks up, hand lifting to rest cool fingers along his cheek. "So...trying to see both ways..." There's a small furrow to her brow, as she slowly works the thoughts out loud. "I will look on my my children and love them and hopefully that will be guide enough to..." She stops with a noisy huff of breath, hand dropping to her lap. "This is hard." Her voice holds just a hint of frustration.

"...I will love them and it will be enough," she picks up, trying to feel that the words will be true, that the myriad little trails of possibility can be collapsed out of sheer will. Maybe they can be, eventually. For now, she continues without that sort of reality-shaping, rising a bit on her knees. "I will...see my face in theirs, but also yours, a reminder of the bond we will...that we share." Continue as you hope to go on. Her blue eyes remain on his as she aims a tentative and very unpracticed kiss to brush clumsily agains the corner of his lips, one hand moving to his shoulder for balance.

[Shiba Jiro]

He nods as she begins working through it, considering the fact that he needs to do the same for her perspective. He is going to do his best. Making an effort is not enough and she deserves more than that. But for now she was working on her own journey and he watches and listens to her with a supportive smile.

He does his best to mirror her, though not in a precise and silly way, just enough that is meant to keep them visibly and physically equals. He was, however, surprised at the approaching touch. He did not take any action that might discourage her, for so many reasons that flooded his mind. Only one said no: I am not woth the time or effort, because I am horrible. However, so many others drown it out, from selfish to caring: she is pretty and I want this, she will be the mother of my children and I want to love her, she deserves to feel wanted and loved and I will not reject her, she is amazing in many ways I didn't understand before and I am fortunate.... They kept coming.

Her lips brushed his awkwardly, and his adjusted to find them more fully. And then when her hand touched his shoulder, his own hand moved to take the other one, which he guided to the other shoulder, encouraging the touch. It was not pushy or greedy but it was welcome and warm. Nothing in his response suggested any hesitation at her contact. But he didn't want to push her faster in this than she was comfortable with, because he recognized that she was probably already plenty uncomfortable by making the choice. The kiss was welcomed, returned, appreciated, and enjoyed.

He could stay there for as long as she wanted, as he likely enjoyed the feeling far more than she did. He did not move to pull her tight or take control. He just responded subtly and positively to each small movement and adjustment. It was clear he was far less awkward. Maybe it was Benten's guidance, or his minimal experience, or both. But he was pleasantly responsive to her efforts for which he was genuinely thrilled. He let thought drain away, and gave her control. When she did finally end it she would find him smiling.

His only response for the moment was a quiet, "Thank you."

[Isawa Natsuko]

There is definitely more of analysis than passion to her awkward kisses, and a sense of calibrating to his responses, of examining her own. Her eyes close at the last, focusing more deeply on the sensations, the hints of soup and tea on their lips, and the warmth closed between them in the chilly room. When she sits back, it's with a small shiver and a nod, eyes a bit distracted. "A foundation," she says quietly, a little breathlessly.

Shifting to settle beside him, hip resting against his, she leans against him with a steadying sigh. "So much to learn." It's said as if speaking more to herself than him. "So..." her hands lift a moment as if able to physically grasp a non-awkward topic from the air. "what was the first thing you ever painted?"

/fade to cozy conversation and tea?

[Shiba Jiro]

He smiles warmly at her, a definite sense of having enjoyed the experience present in the air. When she moves next to him, he reapplies the blanket over both of their shoulders. There is a nod at mentioning a foundation and learning, but he doesn't disagree or try to elaborate, giving tacit agreement.

At her question, he thinks for a few moments trying to recall. Just before answering his hand snaked around her waist, holding her close until it would be time for him to prepare tea. ​"I honestly don't remember the first thing I painted. I just remember getting in trouble for painting it on the walls..."

/conversation and tea, thank you!