[D5 EM, Jiro's Room] We Need To Talk?

[Shiba Jiro]

Jiro sat, looking over the different materials he had collected. He is starting at a good piece of wood for a bit before sighing and setting it aside.

[Shiba Haru]

He did not knock, he did not call out, Haru simply let himself into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Good morning brother" The words warm but tinged with accusation.

[Shiba Jiro]

"It is, isn't it. I had an early start, in the dojo of all places. Just got back not long ago," he replied with a smile. "Got to speak with Akodo Michi-san while there. That was pleasant."

[Shiba Haru]

Another one?

"Oh? and how do you find her? My first meeting with her did not go well, though that shouldn't come as a surprise."

Haru takes a seat opposite his twin.

"Our meeting came late at night as well, no doubt your was much more fun, yes?"

[Shiba Jiro]

"I mean, it was interesting, but I wouldn't say it was fun or not. Just a meeting between two people with very little in common," he says with a shrug. He recognizes the mood, but purposely doesn't acknowledge it. Instead, he makes Haru come out with it himself.

But first he slides a pair of netsuke across the table for his brother to inspect. Yin and yang phoenixes carved in wood with beautifully splendid detail.

"It's a pair. One for Natsuko and one for me. Harmonious halves. What do you think?"

[Shiba Haru]

Haru picked them up, inspecting the craftsmanship.

"What do I think? Are you sure you want the answer to that? I think trinkets and baubles are a poor replacement for your presence brother."

Haru did not appreciate the multiple meanings of his words. He placed the m back down on the table.

"They are lovely."

[Shiba Jiro]

"in what way am I not present?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"We are betrothed, and I have already spent significantly more time with her than many arranged betrothals do before their wedding day. We have had multiple conversations on different concerns. And we have a meeting scheduled for later, plus will undoubtedly see her tomorrow as well. I'm not certain where you are getting this idea that I am not present. I've spent as much time with her as I have with you here," he replied.

[Shiba Haru]

"When I meet with her yesterday morning she asked me many question that seem like the sort of things that you should have told her. Questions about our upbringing, our parents, your training. I got the impression that you two haven't spent much time talking."

Haru sat up, straightening his posture and making himself look bigger.

"But yet, EVERY SINGLE female I meet here has a very high opinion of you. VERY HIGH. And more then one has been surprised and disappointed to find out that you are betrothed. Why is that brother? Why do half the girls here seem to have a crush on you and not know you are engaged? What kind of mischief are you up to? I mean by the kami if mother and father were hear they might actually beat you and I'm tempted to do it for them."

The threat wasn't real and Jiro would feel that, but the anger and confusion was.

[Shiba Jiro]

"I hope that anyone I talked to have a high opinion of me and be disappointed that I'm not available to marry them. Would be a good indicator that Natsuko might feel the same way if she could feel that way. She is perfectly wonderful and we talked about more of that stuff probably not long after you did," he chuckled.

"I'm glad to see that I was right. I did mention you are a bit quicker to anger than I am," he says looking at his brother pointedly. "Didn't forget the exercises right?"

[Shiba Haru]

"No, it is not normal for multiple women to forget themselves in the presence of another and opine to loss of one they hardly know. What have you been doing? One I could understand but three? Each one showing more disappointment than the last? The only one who wasn't surprised you were getting married is Kasumi-san and she didn't even seem to mind that, like it wouldn't stop her. We have the tests to focus on, you have a bride to build a future with and you are out flirting with everything that moves. leaving me to answer questions in your place. Rin, Mitsuko, Kasumi...who else? The Ronin you told me about, is she clutching her pillow right now thinking about you?"

[Shiba Jiro]

"First, who is Rin? I legitimately don't know who you're talking about. That's not anyone I've spoken to. Second, Kuni-san... being friendly and suggesting she should have confidence while she was feeling doubt is not flirting, it's friendly. I do so far more for you, so unless you think I am flirting with you, it's just her feeling what she feels towards someone that was being nice. I'm not going to stop trying to cheer people up because it might occasionally cause them to like me. Third, yes, I have spent time with Kasumi. She is lovely, I enjoy her company, and I don't feel bad about being close with her. Being betrothed or married does not mean we stop wanting to have close relationships with other people. I'm still going to love you and our parents, I'm still going to be friendly with Mitsuo and Akane. Do you believe I shouldn't have people close to me other than Natsuko? That being betrothed means I don't get to socialize with other people anymore?"

He shakes his head. "You are assuming that I'm acting flirtatiously with every female I talk with. That is insulting. And if you continue to doubt me, then perhaps it is time we went different ways. I love you, but if you can't trust me then I don't know what has changed in you. Because I have still never lied to you or done anything to hurt you."

[Shiba Haru]

Jiro's words crushed Haru.

He...he does want to be rid of me.

"I am concerned brother, and I feel badly for Natsuko-san. She is a wonderful person from what I have seen and she deserves your full attention. Whether you meant to or not the fact is that you have earned more than just the friendship of the women here. Kasumi-san in particular. We had a long chat over tea and Go yesterday. It was enlightening. "

He stood up and paced a bit before facing a wall away from his brother.

"All our lives people have assumed that because we are twins we are identical, but you and I have always known that isn't true. That's why I have always struggled to understand what you are feeling but you an read me like a scroll. You are more empathic but at the same time harder to read. People think I must know you like I know myself but I don't, it is the one failure I can't get over."

He turned to face his brother and instead of sorrow or rage on his face like one might assume he On was impeccable.

"If I have become a burden tell me."

[Shiba Jiro]

"You're not a burden. You're an idiot because you assume you're a burden," he says shaking his head. "And you are too emotion and quick to jump to conclusions, which makes you easy to read. Nearly ever day that we have been together I have had to tell you not to jump to conclusions. I'm telling you again now, don't do that. The reason you never got good at reading is the same. You saw an expression, or I said something and you assume that that is the full truth. People are complicated, and so are their emotions. It may be difficult for you, but all you need to do is ask and I will tell you. But when you make assumptions and accusations, you make things more difficult."

"If you came at me and gave me a beating for something you assumed about me, I would be angry. It would hurt. If you gave me a beating because you asked me something and I told you the truth? I'd assume I deserved it. The difference is trust. Trust me enough to talk to you and I'll trust you enough to value your opinion. It may not change my path, and you might need to smack me around, but as long as there's truth and honesty between us, that's all we need."

[Shiba Haru]

"It only seems to be you though I can read others just fine once they show their emotions, you rarely do though even to me. Maybe it's the Void in you, maybe you put up a wall in front of me. It is...odd...i have never felt like this before but I feel like I am standing in your shadow."

He sat back down.

"But I don't want to talk about us, I came to talk about Natsuko-san. I am happy to hear that you chatted again. She is a wonderful person and very thoughtful but she is hurting. She has already offered me sound advice and shown more insight into our relationship then I think she knows. I think you can help her brother, I think she can help you and I think that she is someone I can trust with the most important thing in my life."

[Shiba Jiro]

"Or maybe you need more practice reading people. As I said before, who is Rin? How could a person I don't even know the name of and thus probably not had a conversation with have some sort of feelings about my betrothal situation? Are you certain you didn't misread that situation? Because that seems the more likely possibility," he says with a shrug.

"As for Natsuko, I continue to try to build a connection. If you doubt that ask her yourself. I wish to support her and hope that she'll do the same. But that is a relationship that will build slowly I imagine, hopefully into something beautiful. But it's a fire that needs to be worked on, not one that sparks and ignites and burns out of control," he says with a smile. "So I am tending that little flame, and maybe it will be come a small fire, perhaps a large bonfire, perhaps a raging forest fire. But it's not there yet."

[Shiba Haru]

Haru looked confused.

"Suzume Rin, the little Sparrow girl. 14 maybe 15 years old, baggy clothes. I mentioned her, she seemed to know you.

I'm just worried that another flame will overtake the small spark between you and Natsuko. But if you say I am wrong, that you have only sought friends among these women and nothing else then I will accept that. Or you can tell me to mind my own business, it isn't REALLY any of my business after all, but I also don't want to see you make a mistake, something that will follow you for the rest of your life or dishonor our parents."

[Shiba Jiro]

"Yeah, I definitely haven't spoken with her. I saw you speaking with her, but we haven't been formally introduced. So I certainly have no clue why she would feel any way about me other than I am a stronger that looks someone she's spoken to."

He shook his head. That was just confusing really.

"I am not in control of my emotions brother. Only my reactions to them. Things will go how they go. But I have been and fully intend to build a caring relationship with Natsuko. Everything else here is chaos that I'm navigating."

[Shiba Haru]

"Have you fallen in love with Kasumi? She is very fond of you."

Something was wounded inside Haru.

[Shiba Jiro]

"I doubt that it is love, since we have known each other for less than a week. But I do feel something strong towards her. There has been hesitation, but we invariably find reasons to spend time together. And I imagine that you like her as well then, with that response? Did your sensei not explain this to you? We're young, people are going to feel certain ways about one another. It's part of life that we must simply navigate."

[Shiba Haru]

"My feelings on her are highly mixed. I cannot argue that there is something about her, that she stirs things within me, but those aren't emotions they are longings. We hardly know each other and have whispered things to each other that would shock our mother and I have little doubt that you have had the same whispered words with her. But that is lust not love and right now my emotions are reserved for another that I cannot have.

I just needed to be sure that you weren't going to throw away what I think could be a beautiful future for a few moments of warmth and release."