(D5, LA) Halfway Tea

[Isawa Natsuko]

Natsuko nods. "learning something of such skills would not be a bad idea. I would think they keep one grounded a bit more in the physical. While all my meditations and study reach out all to the spiritual worlds." There's a pause. "I had not asked. With the connection to the void your family appears to have, do you have traditions that keep you more connected to the spiritual?" She gestures slightly, "More than the standard and routine prayers, I suppose I mean."

[Shiba Jiro]

"There are some things among the duelists and bushi I think. For me, it's just regular meditation and prayer. But I imagine that there may be a connection between that and the shrine I built. No clue though, more of a guess." He thinks about it for a bit, but can't come up with anything specific.

[Isawa Natsuko]

"How did you end up tasked to build a shrine, and where? The rituals for enshrining a spirit are part of our learning, but not the practical parts like carpentry and weaving shimenawa rope." She rolls the carving between her fingers, feeling the raised shapes and smoothed wood. She isn't actually sure one weaves ropes into existence, but it sounded close.

[Shiba Jiro]

"I wasn't actually tasked, but rather I took it upon myself. There is a small piece of land that is in the care of my family where I built it. It honors an ancestor of mine and is dedicated to Benten-no-kami.

I spent a lot of time figuring out everything I needed to do to construct it. It was after I finished that my father requested the assistance of a priest friend of his to sanctify it."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"Was your ancestor considered to be favored by Benten-no-kami then? Or had they displeased the Fortune and the shrine was created in an attempt at appeasement?" The carving is transferred to her off hand, and held carefully, freeing up a hand to sip at her tea again, and time to consider the other question on her mind. "You are hoping for Benten's favor between us? I admit that my offerings upon learning of the match were to Musubi."

After a pause, she adds, "I, was not sure yet that I wanted to draw the attentions of Benten or Kisshoten."

[Shiba Jiro]

"He became favored by Benten-no-kami in death. He gave up his life willingly in a duel. His love cared for two men and he did not wish to cause her pain by killing the other man in a duel," he explained.

"I... it would be nice, one day, to have her blessing for our marriage," he says with a nod before finally taking the other half and playing with it gently.

[Isawa Natsuko]

She pauses a long moment at that. "I would...rather not have their attention quite like that. I do not imagine she was spared much pain, though I suppose with a duel, it was all too possible for both to die."

"But...I think I should meditate on those connections Benten favors. Kisshoten as well, I am concerned that I will not know what to do with children, but also want to see family that resembles I resemble, somehow."

[Shiba Jiro]

"What complicates the story even more is that he is an ancestor. Which means he had legitimate children. The details of his life are not all recorded, but either he was a widower or..." He thought of his own situation and started feeling a bit bad.

[Isawa Natsuko]

Her partial hand closes loosely, and a bit painfully, around the small bead, then stills. "Yes.That would perhaps leave wife and children to mourn his death as well. If we are to draw Benten's attention, it is obviously preferable if it aligns with the duty we share, and perhaps does not incline either of us toward death in the Fortune's service."

"Benten can be as cruel as any fortune in their wrathful aspects, and inscrutable when benign. Surely that situation was cruel to most involved, but his devotion to the fortune evidently moved them in some fashion to grant their blessing to his descendants."

[Shiba Jiro]

He nods at that. "I would prefer not to die before having the chance to serve the clan more fully. And want to find that blessing with you, in alignment with duty," he admits honestly. He doesn't want to feel the way he does about Kasumi, but it feels wonderful. Though it certainly also makes things more painful and complicated.

"But as you say, Benten will do as they will. Plans and blessings of the Fortunes are complex things."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"And if we do not find that blessing...?" Her eyes seem unfocused as she trails off, before she blinks with a small shake of her head. "No, I do not think I really want to seek those futures in the ripples of void. Which...is odd. I have never found something that I did not want to chase down. But it feels unsettling to chase visions of that."

"I do worry what Benten might require of you, if it is not this."

[Shiba Jiro]

"Why would it be odd? Not wanting to see if things would go poorly seems fine to me. It is looking at things about your future to determine if you will be unhappy. Seeing yourself unhappy may in turn make you unhappy now. I don't wish to know the future, because as long as I don't I can have an optimist view of it."

[Isawa Natsuko]

"It would only be _a_ future, not _the_ future." She looks up, setting her cup down. "And sifting them for warnings to come is part of my duty. It only dims optimism when the thing you hope for never shows up in the glimpses of the future you see. Because that means the path to it is difficult to bring into being, but seldom impossible."

She reaches across the table with her good hand. "Just...maybe we should talk before Benten inclines you to any extremes."

[Shiba Jiro]

Her reaching across the table caught him off guard. There's a bit of pleasant surprise in his expression though. He took the hand with a nod. "I will need to learn more of that duty then. Of course, it won't be something I'll likely grasp fully, but i would like to not be entirely ignorant of it either."

As he held her hand he felt warmth and connection... and guilt and sadness. He... was he stunting something that could be better by stubbornly refusing to give up other feelings?

"I will remember to consult you if I feel Benten is sending me omens or portents. Or any other Fortunes for that matter."

[Isawa Natsuko]

Natsuko thinks a moment of the potential responsibility, then nods as her fingers close around his, repetition fading any hesitation. "I would expect to help interpret such portents for anyone, so certainly I could for my husband." This was a form of support she was trained to. Researching what a Fortune's blessing could mean, interpreting their demands. For the first time, it felt as if she had something to offer beyond graceful acceptance of the match thrust upon them.

Which is a feeling that also comes with some gratitude. "Thank you for confiding in me. I have to imagine there was some scandal attached to that ancestor's actions, even softened by such a blessing. I am...accustomed to those I grew up around keeping all such things hidden."

[Shiba Jiro]

"Well, the scandal was likely much more prevalent at the time. But now, generations later, it is a story that is barely known outside the family and gets spoken of only in the context of the blessing leaving the listener to identify the complexities," he says with a shrug.

"Next best thing to whitewashing is omission. Not that I am a fan of either, but most details are lost to history. So I can understand predecessors keeping the truth to themselves."

[Isawa Natsuko]

Natsuko nods, aware that, while adoption means becoming entirely part of a new family, the fact that she'd been simply 'adopted' into the school rather than any individual family, would be one of those things that faded into that whitewashing of family history over time. For a few generations, the fact that ancestors can't be traced behind her would be fairly obvious, and then...it wouldn't be.

"Those histories can cling to a line, particularly when some...fate or other seems to repeat. Families that seem to bear only sons or only daughters, or whose spouses all seem to die young."

There is a sense that some internal wariness has worn a bit farther, conversation flowing more readily as the tea and afternoon diminish.

/fade to conversation as D5 falls behind us?

[Shiba Jiro]

"Thar is true about lines. And I can name a few of the twins on my mothers side, including hers. So that is a distinct possibility too," he said, continuing with a listing of his matrilineal twin ancestors...

/fade to conversation